October 10th, 2013

You are reversed, King of Swords. Drowning in your own confusion. Realized on the first of June, and disgraced by the authority of the blood moon. There is no love so great, it will remain when there is nothing left to hang on to, but a trembling hand. We are made to take, and forced to give.

The ravens say that even Odin could not prevent Ragnarok. If you know a rebirth is to your benefit, you will still do anything you can to prevent the pain that change brings. Creature of habit, self-saboteur. The heavens produce blessings, and there you are, hiding in the attic. The air is musty, the humidity hangs heavy. Love is carried in the left wing, and success in the right. They beat to get your attention, and still you hide. What is an offering, other than what you asked for, or what it is believed you wanted.

All this time, I have spent as the Hanged Man. I have sought clarity, and strength. There was hope that the sacrifices I made, would amount to something. Yet, when I notice a desire is within reach, I writhe until I have turned myself away from it. I am scared. I am always so scared. I scream to feel powerful. Destroy to feel in control. Do not trust, never being taught how to lovingly surrender.

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October 10th, 2013

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