September 4th, 2013

I have punished myself until my eyes felt as though they were bleeding out what I could not speak. It is impossible for me to process the horror of this solitude. Ruey was the only thing that was mine alone. Everything had been taken away from me by sister, the children, mistakes I could not forgive myself for. But, there stood my hellhound, ready to offer me peace, time and time again.

Thirty-six hours without sleep. I am not yet ready to fully accept his death, though I have taken his body to be cremated. To no one at all, I ask for the privilege of kissing his forehead one final time. There is only the sound of my own voice.

When the two of us first moved here, no one walked the streets at night. This city is filled with violence, and trust just isn’t there. People would stare at us from their windows. We must have been such a strange sight to them. The fools that brave the perilous darkness. Slowly, some began to join us. Now, it is not uncommon to see people taking walks at most hours. And I think, how many of them know this is owed to the courage of my king?

Every thing I have ever written, everything I will ever write, is a love letter to my watchword and protector.

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September 4th, 2013

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