March 27th, 2013

Though Juliet has returned to stay, we do not speak. No longer does she antagonize me. No longer does she shirk her obligations as often as she once did. Considering she is using drugs again, this arrangement, this truce, is temporary. Soon, she will find a man to become obsessed with, and her children will be last on her list of priorities. As it is, she cares for the girls, but not well. This is no business of mine, even if it feels quite the opposite.

I embrace the freedom I chose. Motherhood continues to be something I reject. But you would make such a good one, I hear. A smile is offered, but I allow for no further comments on the subject.

The hellhound helps me prepare for a thru-hike of the John Muir Trail. It pains me to know that I will have to leave him behind. This will be done in an effort to make my faithful beast proud. And while I understand that it reads as ridiculous as it sounds, it is no less true. I wish to prove to him that I soaked in his lessons, am drenched in some kind of better understanding of how my own mind works, and that I continue to make efforts to correct the glitches.

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March 27th, 2013

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