Every night, I tell the hellhound that he must never leave me. He is always to stay by my side, so that he may act as the beam that keeps any peace I know straight, and in place. Stay with me because I will always need you, I whisper into his ear. He is an incredible beast, that I never tire of. Everything else quickly bores me. I move things around, ask questions, and put it together. There is no reason, then, to stay close to what one has figured out. But Ruey, he retains his mystery.
That I could reason with the one who holds his hourglass. That I could keep the sand from slipping through to the bottom. All who see the hellhound with me, know that the line connecting us has no business snapping in two. I hold back the curse of a parting. How lost I would be, without him guiding me forward. My footfall is so firm then.
I feel him slipping away, and I cannot explain where this idea has come from. I reason that it is nothing but anxiety wreaking havoc on a brain that is no longer used to hosting a feeling that was once so familiar. This is not working, it is not enough. A desperate panic has a firm grip on me.