September 5th, Year of Vampires

It is possible to be a part of something, but share almost nothing in common. Still, you were formed to compliment one another. Finding how, is a challenging objective. Or, you can move away from those frustrations, and never become the person you were meant to. I would advise that most pursue the former, while I explore the latter.

Every passing second brings sister closer. I cannot stop her from arriving.

I dream of running through rolling hills, illuminated by the soft glow of the new moon. By the ancient tree, with eyes borrowed from a crow that felt it had lived too long, I write spells with invisible ink that smells of lavender. I am serenaded by a river that runs backwards, as a path to the past. It has swallowed violins, and harpsichords, and banjos, and a fat lady from Sweden.

I prefer this dream, over the one that featured a man born out of my reflection, my longing, my request. In it, he rejected my love. I think about how different that is from what takes place in the waking world. My efforts with people are not concentrated on creating bonds, but on offering such resistance, that it would break them if they continued in their pursuit to form a relationship with me.

Ruey picks up on my need for all to remain at arm’s length. On our walks, he is quick to bark from the pit of his stomach, intimidating anyone who would dare to approach me. While I know he is all aggressive bark, and defensive stance, I am glad to be left alone by those that fear him. I have said it many times, but it bears repeating, there is something profoundly beautiful about being the dog and his girl.

September 5th, Year of Vampires

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