Be free, young child. Steal your mother’s coat, run through the haunted meadows, reject the apples that do not grow from your own tree. Love without fear, precious one. Listen attentively to what is communicated to you by the center of your stomach. Lift up a skirt that covers what the world wants hidden. Take only what is sweetest.
Sister came home with a desire to take her frustrations out on me. I should be careful when I walk in the evenings, because someone has been paid to hurt me, she says. After this, she broke a picture frame, and attempted to stab me with it. I ran to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I could hear her screaming for me to come out, but I would not. It wasn’t until after a long period of silence, that I ventured out. Quietly, I grabbed what I need, including Ruey, and left the house.
For hours, I drove through city streets that are not safe. There, prostitutes strut to entice, and the thieves stand proud to intimidate. Now, I am stationed somewhere I have never been before, or it only appears unexplored, because things have a way of looking new sometimes.
I wonder how I could better provide for my gift, my hellhound. Some will minimize our bond, or ridicule it. They cannot see that it’s not only that he makes me feel better, but that he makes me want to be better. That is something that should be acknowledged, celebrated, rewarded. At this, I am failing.
His eyes no longer shine. My mischievous boy now sleeps like mother. To ease the pain. To escape life. And when I feel close to losing him, I take him to the mountains. The two of us run through the trails, like the king and queen we used to be. But, we must always return to where we came from.
I can hear gunshots. Someone screams in the far off. I think that I don’t belong here, but there is nowhere else to go. Every hotel I have tried, turns me away because they will not accept pets. Soon, it will be best to turn on the car, and continue driving until sunrise.
Here I am, among the insomniacs, drug addicts, restless gang members. Somehow, it feels safer out here, than it does at home.