November 28th, Year of the Moon

Dictator, I am as sick of you, as I am of myself. We fight against the other, and no one is advancing. Maybe it is because Mercury is in retrograde, but I do not believe in such things. The stars make pretty skies, but they cannot predict whether he will call, or if he will fall.

The holiday season has arrived, and I am meeting it with empty pockets. I want to tune out the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, but the attachment I had to Charles Schulz as a child keeps me from touching the radio knobs. Snoopy as the Christ says, it’s better this way. Church of the dog. A religion everyone can agree on. No more violence and misogyny, just long walks and naps.

The children are screaming over the music. Alyssa has just cut Angelina’s arm with a razor. She does not move to defend herself. It is a common occurrence to see Alyssa act with aggression and defiance. It is just as common for Angelina to say and do nothing. She takes abuse, as if she felt it was deserved.

I say with sincerity that I love them, but it is rare that I enjoy their company. It is always a struggle to remember who I am, when they are present. How can it be that their silence sounds better to me, than their laughter?

November 28th, Year of the Moon

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