Because I am still experiencing the symptoms of a pregnancy, my doctor advised that I take a home test. I was no less nervous today, than I was the first time around, despite the possibility of getting a positive reading being almost nonexistent.
Of course, I quickly got confirmation that the termination was successful.
Due to my inability to meet with my sponsor during my pregnancy, she has decided to part ways with me. Though I found someone to replace her shortly after, I have come to the conclusion that I see no further benefit to remaining in Al-Anon. The program has done all it can for me, and I have grown tired of listening to the same stories. Fathers who mourn their children, long before the addiction takes them. Mothers doing much the same. Lovers who fall to the depths alongside the ones who promised to honor them, and keep them from harm. Adult children still waiting to grow up, still waiting to be parented by those that preferred a bottle or a needle.
I am not sure where the 12-steps were supposed to lead, but I am sure that they were not meant to take me far from whatever remained in my belief in a god.