There’s an exhaustion that reaches the marrow in my bones. Caffeine no longer produces a desired effect. Instead, it adds to a nausea that keeps appetite at bay. A depression that worsens by the day, has me lost among dark thoughts. I am pulled out momentarily, only by a severe pinching in my abdomen.
The constant struggle to relate to Cory, and the arguments that start out of nowhere, are wearing me down. While it seems they end when our throats begin to ache, they do not. They sleep, but still exist.
These symptoms that have me on my knees, I don’t ignore what they could mean. But it is not time. Not like this.
I have so weakened my spirit. It is warped and frail.