October 19th, Year of Silence

Get me Lucifer on the line. Oh, son of the morning, illuminated by wisdom. Tell me how to keep from falling down the hill.

I find myself upset by the invisible. I have spent weeks, then months, then years observing others. They are not like anything I recognize within me.
I should ask myself, if I would like for there to be more similarities. And if so, then my observations should continue, so that I may mimic, slowly becoming.

My sponsor has advised me to view everything, as if it were new. As if I were a child. And I think, but children are idiots.

What I want is absolute control. I know that I will never be stronger than a person’s determination. My will cannot break another’s. I am not so evil, that I would nurture that ability.

I met a man today. He gave me his name, but I did not keep it. Very quickly, he asked me out for dinner, but seeing things the way I was advised, I told him he was too old for me. I am but a delicate child, that must not be corrupted.

October 19th, Year of Silence

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