May 26th, Year of Silence

I reject food, as if it were poison. Low blood sugar has triggered slight hallucinations, both visual and auditory. Nothing appeals to me, as I sit in the center of boredom. Things that are formed perfectly and absolutely for me, stand neglected.

I have finally carried out something that was best left alone. I drove to see Matthew, only days ago. I handed him a letter written on velvet, that details every feeling his name has brought up, in my aching heart. It all seems an experience sucked in by a fog.

I am not a masochist, but I expect pain.

There is no piece of advice I would be willing to take. I do not want a part, but a whole. The world offered to me. Ten thousands servants. An army of indestructible warriors. An immortal guru. Direct me, elevate me.

Matthew has since contacted me, to tell me that he takes great care of the books I once gave to him. He went on to say that my words do not support my actions. He does not believe in my love.

I have never been put in a position in which I am to prove a statement I have made. I am shocked, and I am silent.

May 26th, Year of Silence

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