April 30th, Year of Silence

A mild hangover, two frustrated dreams, and three unfulfilled wishes. That is all I have with me today.

I lied when I said that all I had today, were things that amounted to weightiness. The greys were met with some color after a surprising revelation. My libidinous neighbor Todd has returned, once again pleading to allow him to photograph me. This time, he has sent samples of his work. I looked through dozens of blurred images. The model is a dark-skinned Asian woman. She is wearing ill-fitting, old, bargain bin underwear. The lighting does not compliment her ordinary facial features. A youthful glow has been prematurely stolen by stress, or excess. She attempts seductive poses, but instead looks painfully uncomfortable.
In some of the pictures, she is fully nude. Her breasts are oddly-shaped and unfeminine. She lacks soft curves, and her legs seem to have no end or beginning. She is a square of flesh.

Todd has attached a message to the pictures. He wants me to have sex with the two of them. The woman in the pictures has seen me before, and finds me attractive. He says that they have been lovers for some time. In exchange for her affection, he gives her money.

I respond to his electronic message, declining his offer. It is rare that I want to bed one. I have never wanted two.

Then, I looked through the pictures once more, as I tried to remember the woman who made claims to have seen me before. On second inspection, she did look familiar. Suddenly, it came to me. That woman is The Corpse Bride.
Of course, I immediately notified Joseph. His bride made up an excuse, which he was more than happy to believe, because he needed to. We will all believe any lie that allows for us to live in an illusion. He is not the exception.
Thinking I could do the same for myself, I spent the evening with Guillermo. But no matter how hard we kiss, I cannot fool myself into caring for him.

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April 30th, Year of Silence

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