I am bloated with introspection. I stay still, so it doesn’t hurt. There’s a breakthrough on the tip of my mind. Reality quivers. There is an inhuman hardness to me. I want to move with life, no longer against it. I hate, and nothing more. I am a red flag waving a white flag. I give in to the enemy within and without. There is a futility to the war I have waged on my past. I would never win against memories that only grow more powerful when recalled. I do not gain strength as quickly as they do. I have not found the correct way to approach them, so I must stop.
I am dropping my weapons, do you hear that. The armor is coming off. Ceasefire. Let me climb into the tower, and hide. I need to rest. My shoes will be left outside the door, to indicate I am still here. I am not going anywhere, not yet. Just let me sleep, really sleep. Allow me to be everything I have ever wanted to be, in my dreams. I need to remember what it is like to want a bite out of life.