February 3rd, Year of Taurus

My head is spinning. There are things I don’t understand, or would rather they not be true. I found a picture of my mother enjoying herself in San Francisco, with a man who is not my father. And while the idea that this could lead to their divorce doesn’t bother me, as I always thought it best they be apart, this picture is evidence that my mother is not who she claims to be. She is supposed to be the long-suffering victim. Father is unfaithful. Father beat my mother. I remember that. Those are things I know. Things I was witness to. Mother did nothing wrong, could do nothing wrong. She was perfect, or as close as one could get.

Aquarius in mother. Aquarius set to ruin me.

Of course all of this makes sense, and I always knew. My mother has a secret life, and she needed me to be her ally. I am a worthy opponent, and she used me, to protect her, to fight for her.
I confronted her with the picture. She explained that it was too complicated. Of course all things are complicated to a fool.

No longer wanting to enable my mother, I went to father with what little I know. He and I are enemies, calling a temporary truce, so that I may see mother squirm. Let her writhe around, like a little worm in a puddle. I do nothing in the name of revenge. I do it to relieve myself of the burden.

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February 3rd, Year of Taurus

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