March 18th, Year of Aquarius

I meant to end things with Aquarius before they got so bad, but I was trapped in by my own pride. I did not want to admit that I could make such a terrible choice. Here I am, badly bruised, ego crushed, numb to it all.

Aquarius and I spent yesterday evening in San Francisco. I had planned a wonderful night for us, because I knew it would be our last as a couple. The verbal abuse, and occasional physical abuse, was more than I could bear. These things were not meant for me to live through, to tolerate, and to excuse. I am not the type of woman to be made into a doll. Not the type to be thrown around. And while Aquarius may have believed me to be many things, none of which I am, I would not continue to be punished for them

Yesterday was meant to be good, so that I could walk away with something worthwhile.

Every battle Aquarius and I had in the past, could not possibly prepare me for the war he declared. One that I lost, and in admitting defeat, walked away from it alive. Aquarius said nothing when it mattered. Every word meant to be pronounced by his crass American tongue, was denied an exit. In three months time, it all erupted. All words unspoken had turned violent. All was lost at the hands of a man who wanted to give me his name.

My head is dizzy from bumps caused by closed fists. Here I have two thighs, plump and purple from being thrown out of a car. There I have lips that split open and bleed, when I try to eat. Nothing left to give, not even half a care. Now I know Aquarius was made to hurt a Libra.

March 18th, Year of Aquarius

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