Too much time is elapsing between each entry. A new man has entered my life. Jared the Cold-Hearted Aquarius. He is not Richard, and I remind him of this when he steps out of line the way he likes to, blaming it on tight shoes and a sleepy head. He calls me a whore, when he has run out of things to say, and tragedies to blame on me. Twice he has slapped me, when I have disagreed on his low opinion of me. Wear this, he says. A short, black dress that covers little. The men are looking at you, and you like it because you are loose, he then says.
We have known one another for all of a single month, quickly jumping into a relationship because it felt right. The same way getting close to a bonfire feels right, on a cold night. Soon, it begins to burn. Still, I don’t move away from it.
It all started with the feeling of something new. But I felt the danger. Behind his eyes filled with timidity, a shattered confidence, an inability to speak but the basic and mundane, I felt the danger. This man would endeavor to understand this woman, and then attempt to destroy her when he failed. Yet, I stay just where I am.