February 19th, Year Three

Tenant’s remorse.

Marissa and I have yet to fully move into our apartment – although are in the process of painting and decorating it, as our landlord has allowed us to – and already I want out. It appears that I have made a mistake. A very large one, with a neon sign above it, calling in all the wrong people.

Marissa is in an abusive relationship with the father of her young child. While they separate often, tonight they were very much together. In a few hours time, he managed to prove himself to be nothing short of vile. After kissing and fondling her in front of groups of complete strangers, he asked if I would go home with them, and have a threesome. Before I had an opportunity to reject his offer, I felt his hand on my ass, rubbing it as if to soothe an injury. I wondered if any woman had ever found herself turned on by a boorish man taking liberties with her body.

I wanted to do so many violent things to him, but opportunity lacked. Because I did nothing, something was done for me. Kawika – or at least that’s what I remember his name to be, and if it was any other, it’s all the same to me – led me, or carried me, or threw me into the car, and drove us to what is to be my apartment. There, he ordered Marissa to get in the shower, but she just stood in the kitchen looking helpless. Next, he ordered me to get in the shower. I said I would not, and turned to walk home. Kawika stopped me, whispered something unintelligible in my ear, but all I saw was the mother of his child, crying over things I could only imagine.

A woman not enough to satiate the needs of the man she loves most. A woman insulted with no words exchanged. Her tears produced sympathy in me, but rage in Kawika. In a flash he ran to her, and put his hands around her throat. She screamed, and I ran to her side. Yelling on all sides. Frustrated, he took refuge in the bathroom, he hoped would be the scene of his private pornographic show. I moved to talk to Marissa, but knew she did not have ears to listen. She would allow nothing to enter. I am the enemy because Kawika desires me. I walked home and tried to forget, but could not.

February 19th, Year Three

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